.

Numb.

Best friend woke me up just as I was falling into a deep sleep. Bitch.

Ajshhfjtnn.

Laptop has a virus.
Phones restricted.
Houston I think we haz a problem D: I need Tumblr and sex and cookies like nao :(

Hacked

It's me. Charlie. You left your iPod here. I just want you to know that you are so so special, and so loved. I still care.
Yours,
Muffin x

I set fire to the rain..

When I lay with you
I could stay there, close my eyes
Feel you here forever
You and me together, nothing is better

Cinnamon Cookieeeeees

So today is mine and my Girlfriends chill out/spend the day together day and so far all we've done is sit on our bottoms and tumbled, played sims and watched Americas Next Top Model.. Hoping to do some baking shortly :)

PJ days ftw <3

Brain Poisoning

So I guess today was pretty good up until I had a falling out with my Girlfriend and it was all shit and ajshskfhfhghghg.  But on a positive note now we're going to snuggle up in bed and watch The Notebook. Eeeeeeeeeeeep I'm getting Hello Kitty Vans for Christmas ^^ yaaaaaaay.

I'm gonna pick up the pieces and build a lego house.

I don't understand my head any more.
I want to stop feeling like this.
I need to be positive.
I got to keep positive and recover for me, my girlfriend and our future together - I hope there is one because I love her more than life. Even though I'm a major bitch at times I wouldn't swap her for anything.. <3

blubblubblub.

Today's plans are to go to Tesco, get a few bits and go over to my best friends house with my Girlfriend and spend the night there.. It's going to be a good one :)
Really positive mood today eeeeep =D 

Monstttterrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Today I had my 3rd therapy assessment and I was really positive and I think that it went really well. Actually I thought it went better than ANY of my appointments that I've had there. I relapsed with my self-harm two days ago after being clean for one and a half months so I'm starting afresh. Hopefully things will go well from now onwards if I keep on with this positive mental attitude. 

Looking forward to tomorrow afternoon and night with the girlfriend, best friend and hay :)

I want to be a child.

Really weird mood. Switching from being happy one minute to sad the next. Too many thoughts in my head repeating in my head. My thoughts right now? ajshgfhffhgtirjgjgjg. Yeah, I can't seem to understand it either. Oh well time for a cigarette, bath and then snuggles (hopefully) <3

Names for my book :)

I have two names for my book -

My Secret Life - A Memoir of Bulimia.

OR

Coffee, Cigarettes and Calories.

You make me happy.
180611 <3

Last night was a really bad night. I didn't realise what was happening and at one point I didn't know who I was! A mixture of emotions were swimming around in my head and the screaming got too much. The voice in my head screamed and shouted at me; 'stupid, worthless, failure'. are the words that were being repeated in my head. Two days in a row and I've felt like this and I don't know why :/ I felt so fucked up and out of control. I didn't want to be here anymore but the thought of my Girlfriend being in the house kept me and also I thought that dying wouldn't solve anything. After all I am a fighter and I'll fight for what I want and that's a life free from these illnesses. I want to be happy and care free.

I'm over-tired and I rambling an I don't think I'm making any sense? But today is a new day and I'm going to keep strong and carry on fighting my demons.

I love my Charlie so much more than my life right now, without you baby I would not have known what it is to LIVE. :')

A Muffin Completes My Life.

Right so here goes nothing. I gave my girlfriend the friggin' link to this blog and she's sat there complaining that I didn't mention her so here's a little post for her :)

Charlie Raye Woods - You have been my rock ever since day one. I know that sometimes I don't tell you enough that I love you but you are a very special unicorn and I am privileged to have you in my life and to call you mine. As you can tell I'm not very good with my words and this is just a short little entry into a million more to come which WILL include you, you snotface :)

All I've got to say is that you mean the world to me and I love you epic amounts.
''I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now.''

Love from Little Bear <3

I need a cigarette.

Meh well I'm just sat here and my heart is racing like a bitch and it's probably because I've been drinking caffeine pretty much all day. Feeling like crap and want to go to tesco's and get a load of crap/binge/junk food and just eat and be a fatty and not give a flying fuck; but instead I'm sat here feeling shitty (silly head) but oh well.
Had a good day today with Risha and did a bit of retail therapy which cheered me up :)
Plans for tomorrow are to CLEANCLEANCLEAN and then relax and hopefully have Scarlett over.
Friday - Going to see Happy Feet 2 with friends *does a warrior dance* and then the weekend is just going to be plain lazy... :)

xx

Tomorrow I start lessons at College and I can honestly, hand on my heart say that I am petrified. I have English, Maths and Anatomy and Physiology. I hope my concentration is okay for the lessons.. The only thing that's keeping me going is seeing my Girlfriend after College. Also, I must admit that I am actually looking forward to the A&P lesson ^__^

Hello Blogger :')
Well what can I write hmm.. Last nights events really unsettled me and I can't believe I've lost a friend who I've known for six years over something so pathetic. Not going to go into detail as it will only upset me more. 


I weighed in a t 127.6lbs this morning and finally I'm seeing some weight loss. I hope I can continue this and get to 120 by the 1st of July. 


Just been watching Katie - My Beautiful Face and it has bought tears to my eyes :'( So many girls see themselves as un-beautiful and ugly but they don't realize that everyone is beautiful in their own way... Katie is such an inspiration to me and I would hope that she is an inspiration to millions of girls out there. Her story is truly one of bravery and courage! 


So just remember that your all BEAUTIFUL and don't let no-one tell you any different! 

Hellloooooo :')

Hello Blogger :')
I haven't got a clue what to write here as it's my first blog..


Beautiful day outside and I'm stuck at home full of cold >< not fun!